1952 ad. The “Bell” was worn by the least efficient gal in the typing pool, week-to-week. This is Debbie during week #14 in a row.
Heinz (read the copy)
1949 ad for Heinz soups, back when men had only two worries: Communism and Dinner.
“Well he’s bored with my conversation and cooking. But if I cook better, he might again start to notice how fucking boring I am. And the beatings might return. Oh, shoot — OK, Heinz, I’ll give a try!”
1968 Ivory campaign pulls no punches and punches women right in their ever-aging faces. Unbelievably horrible guilt trip laid on the ladies.
1964 Cutex lipstick ad. Ya got that, DUMMY?
1957 ad for Rid Jid ironing boards bragging about their sales. Not long enough for you to get out of ironing Hubby’s shirts every damn week, sweetheart.
Yes, this is a 1941 ad for ice. Women and carrots have the same enemy. No, it’s not Hitler. It’s DRYNESS. And the giant carrots are going to get their moisture. Little women, be damned.
1967 ad for General Electric bulbs. “Hey Miss Pennyworthless, you spilled milk on my letter and put white-out in my coffee! Is it too “dim” in here for you?”
Serax (a big anxiety drug in the 1960s)
(sorry for blurry copy, only one I could find) Copy starts: “You know this woman. She’s anxious, irritable. She’s been that way for months.” Could it be, because she does all the fucking housework? Well, she ain’t gonna get free of that. Here, babe, pop a couple of these every few hours.
1956 ad. See, hon, it matches your outfit. I’ll be inside drinking my myself blind, have fun.
1964 ad. “The fact is, a woman wasn’t meant to change a flat tire.” No, she was meant to break her back bending over and staring at it, hoping it would fix itself.
Wifey, Is your face “a magnet alluring enough to draw him right home night after night?” If not, either buy our soap, or chop your fucking telephone pole down.
Oh those scare quotes.
Read caption under spider woman. That’s just vile.
Another one from Chlorodent. Ha, she can’t breathe.
Yes, just because you wait on him hand and fucking foot, “do something soft and young and special for him.”
1951 AD. “…SIDE-STEP THE TRAGEDY THAT OVERTAKES SO MANY WIVES…”
“EVEN WHEN THEY CHEATED ON ME. EVEN WHEN THEY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME” (1969 ad)
That little “scientist” drawing is hilarious.
Two Male jeans ads from 1969. The women are topless, both photos have been edited for this post. These adverts — making models pose nude next to the shittiest beatnik-y poetry even written — are pretty much the most humiliating ad-crimes against women I’ve ever seen.
Charles Antell’s Formula 9 shampoo, 1952
Three methods of suicide! Sweetheart, you better put that small-caliber girlie gun in your mouth, to make sure. Or just pick up some new shampoo. A-mazing.
Bodiless Horsewoman Refuses to Buy Electrolux Fridge. In Mrs. Secretariat’s defense, the gas refrigerator never did take off.
Copy: “having to do the same dull work day after day—is a mild form of torture. This can bring on…what is now known as [DUN DUN DUN] ‘housewife headache.’” Nice Photoshoppy headache-y collage work! Stupid bored, emotionally fatigued HOUSEWIFE.
“Sooner or later…” “Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things…She can jab the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper…” Give me the keys and go vacuum, Mrs. McCrash.
What does the future hold, ladies? DIRT! That pesky Moon dust ain’t gonna clean itself, subservient housewives.
That’s right, girls — be the you HE likes. Even if your Guy (note cap “G,” crampy chicks) wears patchwork-quilt shirts and looks like Ally Sheedy.
That deafening sound you hear is the collective gargling of 5,000,000 paranoid young women of “marriage-able age.”
Sorry for the low-res scan, but the copy starts: “Will the law ever require women who are careless about their breath to wear bells to warn others of their approach? It’s not a bad idea.” Let’s make a big honking cowbell!
STICK IN HIS MIND! (He looks like her father.)
Sunday, June 14, 2015
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